Even cuter then before.

We had a rough week. Will got/has viral pneumonia. We ended up being in the hospital for about 36 hours. Oh boy when I say it like that it sounds like it was short, but it felt like forever. I've never done an overnight stay because of my babies- besides when I was in the hospital giving birth to them, I guess that's definitely because of them!  

This wasn't a life or death situation. So I felt silly writing this all down but it's how it went and how I felt. 

It was stressful. It was hard and I felt like I was in a fog. I've never felt like that before. It was hard to process things, I felt extremely emotional and felt like my patience level dropped to a negative 30%. Some of the meds they were giving Will totally changed his behaviours for a few days till we sorted it out. The littlest things would set him off, and it wouldn't be a small tantrum. It could be an 10mins of being ticked to an hour. And bedtime was the worst. Like we just had to let the kid scream till he passed out from exhaustion (3-5 hours of crying). It was really hard to watch and so frustrating to not be able to "fix" the problem. And kids with oxygen tubes, ugh. Will ripped his off 5-6 times and the tape scratched his face up pretty good. 

He seemed better and was breathing way better but now what's going on? Did we really hit tantrum phase or is this the effect of his routine being thrown off.  What the heck was going on? And it added so much more stress on Dave and I. Finally my mom and I read the side effects on his meds. One of them said insomnia, anxiety, sleep disturbances and  quite a few other side effects but these were the main ones that worried me. Since Will was breathing better we decided to go off this one med and by about 12ish hours later our super chill Will was back.  

Oh how I missed this kid. 

He's even cuter to me now, I don't know how that's possible but gah! Before this I already wanted to just kiss and squish him constantly but now... This kid scrunches his face up and just comes running at me yelling "MOMMMYY!" And I melt into a giant puddle. Maybe it's cause he's breathing better or not screaming anymore but whatever the case he just seems even cuter then before. It's probably cause he's sleeping better. 

That's it.

That's totally it.  

So those who are doing this or had to do this. You are my hero. We've been home for 4 days now and I still feel really mentally and physically exhausted. This has been so hard but has made me so grateful for the health of our family. 

And a huge shout out to my mom!!! Who just came up to help cause she knew we could use it. To friends who brought chocolate and food. To those who called, texted and messaged you. We felt loved. Thank you.