family pictures.

These are a few of my favourites! A huge shout out to my SIL Melissa, thanks for doing this on such short notice.

DJ

{please be nice when you read this, and know we did what we felt was best for OUR family}

    Today I had to make one of the toughest decisions. We've been tossing back and forth for over 3 months about what to do with DJ. We have been on a waiting list for the last 5-6 weeks for DJ to find a new home through the humane society. It gave us the time to think about it and also to be able to back out if I felt like we could work on her "issues". DJ always had accidents in our house, she was pregnant when we got her and then with puppies we felt,  it was understandable. It was her 5th litter and she was 4yrs old.

   Then around Christmas time something changed. We don't know what? She had already had a hard 3 months and maybe it was just too much. Transitioning in a new home, pregnancy, puppies, and giving up her puppies. But she started having submissive accidents. It started out just being when we weren't home. Then it was sometimes even if we were home. It wasn't like we didn't take her out to go to the bathroom it, was a behavioral thing. Something we tried to "correct" but I don't think Dave and I have the right skills to be able to correct this. That's whats hard about adopting a 4 year old, she's trained in certain ways already.

      As I'm writing this its breaking my heart and I have tears rolling down my cheeks. It was the hardest decision to give her up. To feel like we've failed her some how. That we just took away Levi's best friend. Its taken me 2 days to write this. But I want to let people know so we can avoid the questions to bring up this painful memory. And to avoid Levi having to hear her name and be reminded that she's gone. He's confused and we don't want to confuse him more.

            

       Yesterday morning she had accidents several times, not sure why. I had taken her out 20 mins prior and she had "went". It was the straw that broke our fragile back. Our lives have had a lot of complications this past month. Its been extremely stressful and I needed to simplify something. We needed to be able to give her the attention she needed. It just wasn't balancing out. So I loaded her and Levi up in the truck bawling and knowing that it was gonna get harder. We hadn't heard back from the humane society and the animal shelter said they could take her right away. (They have a volunteer that comes in and works with dogs and they don't put dogs down.)

                 

     As we pulled up to the animal shelter, the man could see I was struggling and came and helped. They were kind and told me I was doing the right decision. They instantly took her away, leaving Levi crying and confused to where she was. They don't let you say good bye because its just as traumatic for the dog. I filled out a lot of paperwork so that when a family came to adopt they knew her personality. They let Levi see the kitties to distract him while I payed. We had to pay so she could be up to date with shots and a vet check. We kept her collar, and as we left, Levi and I both are crying I did the best I could to explain to him. DJ now lives with her puppy friends and will get to play all the time. Its still hard, I woke up looking for her to take her out. Levi throws a ball and calls her to come play fetch. I watch for her to be sunken in to her spot on the couch basking in the sun. She is incredible at playing fetch. She treats levi like a little king, even if he was trying to ride her or poke her eyes. She loves to cuddle. She loves to sleep on our bed. She made the worlds cutest puppies. She was such a blessing to us, but it just wasn't "balancing" in our lives. We hope and pray that a new family can love her as much as we did and be skilled in helping with her issues.  

                                                              We love and miss you DJ!

      

                 (lola)        (kisses christmas morning)

                  (maddox)           (DJ in her elf hat)

              (kingston & lola)   (DJ in labour)

Supervisor.

I think very few people would actually understand what our last year was like, as far as Dave's working schedule. Dave worked every weekend for a year, he booked a weekend off at Christmas and that was about it. He usually worked 12-13 days out of every 14 day pay period. Our lives were unpredictable and we could never schedule anything. I was going crazy from this, we've been down to one vehicle for the last 5 months so I was housebound and husbandless a.l.o.t!

 BUT as of 2 weeks ago Dave got a supervisor position with Palladin, having explained what the last year was like you may understand why I'm ecstatic about this. He now works 4 days on 4 OFF. I now have something to look forward too. The 4 days on are crazy. Its 7am-7pm for 2 days and then 2 days of 7pm-7am. So Levi doesn't see him much and its hard for him but those 4 days off we just gobble dave up. We just hog him and don't wanna share him with anyone, sorry folks! I haven't had something to "look forward too" with his old position because we never knew when he'd have a day off. It made things seem unbearable at times. Now I know I get through 4 crazy days and then we have 4 glorious days together. 

These 4 days off we got busy and did alot to our house, we're not finished but that's what next weekends for. We have never painted anything on our house, its scared me to make such a permanent change. But it all started with a $30 mistint of paint that I got for $4. So we knocked out the old shelving. . .

 Then we painted it a slate grey, and dave's finishing up the new cabinet to go in and they will be white.

 We organized Levi's toys and made the other half of his room a play room, so now we have hardly any toys in the living room. Hooray!

 Levi started a big boy bed, if your wondering what the lump in his bed is, its a pool noodle. It helps so he doesn't fall out of his bed, pinterest your a genius!

 I started painting the old windows we got from some good friends to use as picture frames!

 We ripped out the old metal fence to put in a new wooden one, because now we can add a gate to it! And DJ will become an outside dog!

I painted over my little chair from when I was a little girl. I love it! Just have to find some new screws to put it together.

I am absolutley loving our new schedule, I have a calender that has dave's work schedule until August. I can book things in advance, this is a wonderful thing!

(and what's a post without this kids cheesy grin)

waiting

for daddy to get home. .

 so happy to see daddy. . .  the 12 hour shifts are so long for Levi!

Grad 2012

Dave had convocation this morning for the criminal justice diploma. Go Dave!! It was pouring rain so we had to take picture inside.We're so proud of all the work he has put into getting an honors in his diploma. We headed to Moxies after for some lunch and now were just gonna relax since dave worked a night shift last night.

Our week {slightly eventful}

I feel like this week was eventful but at the same time not so eventful. So here's a few things that happened!

 We did the Coaldale Family Fun Run - 5km! Dave did it 25mins- awesome job!!! I did it well in 50 mins, but I can't run at the moment so I had told myself to just take it easy and pace myself. When Dave ran ahead of Levi and I he did not approve of this. He wanted out of the stroller at that moment! So the first 10mins or so I was calming levi down. Soon as he was ok he crashed for the rest of the race. Its a nice easy race ( no hills!! ) but the gravel was a little annoying.

 This afternoon we took Levi and Benson to the Childrens Festival. It was such a blast! The boys saw a dog show, got to go play in the petting zoo, got balloons and "bob the builder" hats. So worth the smelly crowds just to see them light up!

 Levi loves to "dress himself" I say that sarcastically because he doesn't dress himself. He picks the clothes and then tells me where to put them. Mittens on the feet? Why hadn't I thought of this yet :) He seriously cracks me up!

The imagination has started and its really fun to watch him explore.

 When we put levi to bed at night the routine is as follows:

Good night to everything, literally even the fridge gets a good night from levi.
turn on music
get into crib and tuck in his monkeys
say prayers and tell monkeys its goodnight
then i read a book to him
then he reads it to the monkeys once I leave the room.

I started having him put the monkeys to bed to give him a feeling of responsibility. He also then has heard severals times its time for goodnight. Seems to help. Anywho he loves putting the monkeys to bed, so other night I see him putting all the animals to bed in their barn before he went to bed... So stinkin cute!

hip hip hooray

3 months ago I started weight training. For the leg press I started at 45lbs. .  today it was 105lbs. BOOYA!

cough. puke. bath. sleep. repeat

 sleep & cuddles

 trip to ER

 sleep

bath

Huge Thanks to everyone who's helped us out this weekend! For the rides, baked goods, medicine and phone calls. Were not on the mend but hoping to get into another DR tomorrow to get some more medication!

Running.

“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” 

 

 

    My shin splints have flared up to the point that I can't run for more then 2-3 minutes without being in extreme pain. So after lots of research I know I need to take at least a few weeks off. Levi and I walked for 8km and did it in 80mins. Stretch and iced after the walk and I have hope to be running soon! Guess I'll be walking my 5 km race next week, but still hoping to do 10km in August.

Just the way we are:

Sometimes my focus gets a little blurry. I start to want to be the perfect mom, perfect in my definition not Levi's. I want the cupcakes with the fondant, I want the size 2 jeans, I want every holiday to be decorated and celebrated with every tradition, and I want the homemade playdough.

 

 (levi in his favourite outfit)

The past 2 days have probably been perfect in Levi's eyes, this is what (i think) he sees:

(movie night)

daddy takes me to the park

we all play in the garden 

we have a picnic in the yard

Mommy takes me on a walk

Dj and I play fetch

mommy and I read books

i watched Cars 2

i had yummy snacks

we blowed bubbles and chased them 

i got cuddles with dad on the couch 

naps in my gum boots

(playing outside today)

He doesn't care that:

im wearing yoga pants again

my hair isn't done

that the easter decorations are still up

laundry is behind

that the home decor isn't perfectly color coordinated

supper tonight was crepes

some of his clothes are second hand

that Im not a size 2

dave doesn't make 100k/year

i can't make homemade bread 

our house isn't big or perfect

All he wants is who I am and who Dave is. Not who we think we need to be, or want to be. He loves us just the way we are. 

(levi feel asleep in the truck on our way to waterton, with the sippy cup still in his mouth)

And we love him just the way he is.

Here's an awesome article that I read about my same thoughts I've been feeling lately.

Easter

 The Easter bunny visited us today! He left a little trail of candy to Levi's basket. The top right pictures shows how excited Levi was when he saw that ball! He's obsessed with basketballs, soccer-balls any round little object! He got a shovel to help us in the garden. Seeing his face light up just makes us so happy as parents!

 I did the annual Easter egg hunt and Levi was in heaven! I have prepped him this week on what to do. He joined in on all the games, even carrying an egg on a spoon. We must have tired him out this morning cause he just feel asleep on the floor. He has never fell asleep like that, its too bad we didn't snap a picture. Now that he's getting older he's able to help more and more with the holiday fun. He helped with sugar cookies, marshmallows dipped in chocolate and sprinkles, and he even helped color pictures for our memory game.

Levi showing us all his "eggs".