{please be nice when you read this, and know we did what we felt was best for OUR family}
Today I had to make one of the toughest decisions. We've been tossing back and forth for over 3 months about what to do with DJ. We have been on a waiting list for the last 5-6 weeks for DJ to find a new home through the humane society. It gave us the time to think about it and also to be able to back out if I felt like we could work on her "issues". DJ always had accidents in our house, she was pregnant when we got her and then with puppies we felt, it was understandable. It was her 5th litter and she was 4yrs old.
Then around Christmas time something changed. We don't know what? She had already had a hard 3 months and maybe it was just too much. Transitioning in a new home, pregnancy, puppies, and giving up her puppies. But she started having submissive accidents. It started out just being when we weren't home. Then it was sometimes even if we were home. It wasn't like we didn't take her out to go to the bathroom it, was a behavioral thing. Something we tried to "correct" but I don't think Dave and I have the right skills to be able to correct this. That's whats hard about adopting a 4 year old, she's trained in certain ways already.
As I'm writing this its breaking my heart and I have tears rolling down my cheeks. It was the hardest decision to give her up. To feel like we've failed her some how. That we just took away Levi's best friend. Its taken me 2 days to write this. But I want to let people know so we can avoid the questions to bring up this painful memory. And to avoid Levi having to hear her name and be reminded that she's gone. He's confused and we don't want to confuse him more.
Yesterday morning she had accidents several times, not sure why. I had taken her out 20 mins prior and she had "went". It was the straw that broke our fragile back. Our lives have had a lot of complications this past month. Its been extremely stressful and I needed to simplify something. We needed to be able to give her the attention she needed. It just wasn't balancing out. So I loaded her and Levi up in the truck bawling and knowing that it was gonna get harder. We hadn't heard back from the humane society and the animal shelter said they could take her right away. (They have a volunteer that comes in and works with dogs and they don't put dogs down.)
As we pulled up to the animal shelter, the man could see I was struggling and came and helped. They were kind and told me I was doing the right decision. They instantly took her away, leaving Levi crying and confused to where she was. They don't let you say good bye because its just as traumatic for the dog. I filled out a lot of paperwork so that when a family came to adopt they knew her personality. They let Levi see the kitties to distract him while I payed. We had to pay so she could be up to date with shots and a vet check. We kept her collar, and as we left, Levi and I both are crying I did the best I could to explain to him. DJ now lives with her puppy friends and will get to play all the time. Its still hard, I woke up looking for her to take her out. Levi throws a ball and calls her to come play fetch. I watch for her to be sunken in to her spot on the couch basking in the sun. She is incredible at playing fetch. She treats levi like a little king, even if he was trying to ride her or poke her eyes. She loves to cuddle. She loves to sleep on our bed. She made the worlds cutest puppies. She was such a blessing to us, but it just wasn't "balancing" in our lives. We hope and pray that a new family can love her as much as we did and be skilled in helping with her issues.
We love and miss you DJ!
